The GTI Effect

Calvin Fisher had a rather disturbing week with the car that South African motoring enthusiasts obsess over the most…

There he was. Standing in my garage, on my property. Staring at the GTI. Who was he? Well, a security guard for a well-known armed response company. The one with three letters. Why was this a problem? Well, I didn’t call him. Also, I don’t even subscribe to that particular firm; I’m a client of a rival home-security company. So, what the hell was going on?

Volkswagen Golf GTI red
The Golf GTI has been so popular in SA, it’s accounted for 50% of all Golfs sold in SA.

He explained that he had seen the Volkswagen Golf 8 GTI parked on my driveway earlier and couldn’t help but stop and have a closer look, despite the fact that the vehicle was now pulled into my garage. He’d spoken to the electrician who was busy installing some new lighting on my property; the sparky had no idea what was happening when the “man with a gun” (as he described the officer) asked if he could have a better look at the German hatchback. To cut the story well short, he left enlightened as to why, just because his job involves home security, it wasn’t okay to wander onto people’s property because something shiny caught his eye. I would’ve been harder on him if I wasn’t already convinced the GTI in question wasn’t something of a hex – one with a serious effect on folks. Let me explain…

The following account is completely non-fictional. Just facts. It began almost immediately. I had just swapped the sublime Audi S3 sedan, which is arguably a superior whip in what I like to call the “everyday superhero” category, for the new GTI. Despite being finished in Turbo Blue, the Ingolstadt-based brand’s sedan had gone largely undetected while it was in my care. As for the appliance-white GTI? Within a minute of taking custodianship of the test unit, an Opel Corsa, Polo GTI and a 10-year-old BMW M3 tried to race me. The sheer nerve – we were in chock-a-block CBD traffic! Still, they wanted blood.

VW Golf GTI front
The new Golf 8 GTI launched locally in August 2021.

I eventually found my way onto the freeway with the GTI, but it was full of yet more challengers. And there were other types of characters that materialised in the wake of Wolfsburg’s finest. I’ll categorise them as best as I can, and we can begin with the aficionados. Like sharks, these fans would circle the GTI, literally. They’d pull up close behind me, pull out and pass slowly to absorb a rear 3-quarter view, flank me and ultimately move ahead of me. Many things would happen during this choreographed dance. The driver would throw thumbs-up signs at me, grin wildly, or grimace fiercely. Their co-pilot would be doing the same, or they’d be snapping pics of me, or filming me. I say me, but I mean “it”. This wasn’t my test car. It was their test car. So that’s the rivals and aficionados out the way. What’s next?

> Watch: VW Golf 8 GTI vs Toyota GR Yaris: Drag Race

Well, it has to be the creeps. Look, I don’t believe this is normal behaviour, but I’ll let you be the judge. Creeps come in many flavours, similar to the ones above, but they’ll try to hold your attention by overstaying their welcome. I mean that far too literally. I had multiple of these types follow me for well over 20 km on long stretches of the freeway, they would deliberately miss their turnoffs just to stick in close proximity to the GTI. What was this about? Heaven forbid they follow you to your next stop, which I engineered to be a garage forecourt to fake-refuel or fake-shop for some arbitrary item you don’t need. Just so that they can stalk you, stare imploring you with that “And? And?” expression in their glazed-over eyes. Man, it got uncomfortable.

On one occasion during the GTI test, I decided to take my wife out for dinner. The conversation in the car was lovely, the skies were yellow and pink as the sun was close to setting, and then it happened. That unsettling notion that eyes were upon us. You know what, I’m going to correct myself from earlier. Remember when I said people were staring at the car, and not us? Well, with the creeps you can throw that rule out because buddy, let me tell you… Such piercing stares into my soul, well, that was on a different level. “Oh God, not again…” my wife muttered into her hands. But yes, oh yes, again.

Golf GTI opinion red
No other hot hatch commands the status that the GTI has attained.

Look, I’m a fan of the GTI legacy, and the car remains a masterclass in the segment it helped to establish. And I like this latest iteration of the Volkswagen Golf GTI – it remains one of the few cars that can shine on a racetrack and a mountain pass just as well as in front of a fancy restaurant or posh hotel room. But I’ll confess that I am surprised with the level of obsession it enjoys in this country. Then again, perhaps I shouldn’t be.

This is a land where, for several generations, every second Golf that was sold wore a GTI badge. Despite a declining C-segment, the Golf GTI continues to sell. Indeed, it is the only version of the Golf that Volkswagen South Africa will sell here – until the R is released, that is. But even that cannot hope to gain such a legion of fans, rivals, and creeps as the GTI. I’m morbidly impressed.